Author: Crofton77

Patience is a VIRTUE!!!!!!

I am so close to cutting my nose off to spite my face. You may ask why would one do that?Well…

Tuesday the removalists turned up and we were busily packing when the real Estate agent calls: 'Can I bring someone through today…'
Well sure but you know we're moving and the place is trashed and
'Oh that's ok. They don't mind'
So through the punters trundle and we play dodge the buyer.

Wednesday we are madly cleaning. The Real Estate agent rings: 'It ticked their boxes but I didn't get the high five moment. Will keep you up to date'

Thursday 40 minutes into a six hour drive the madness begins. 'They made an offer it's this many days and this many whatevers and the offer is…' and the phone cuts out in a black spot.
Drive madly to the next major town for coverage and get the offer which is madly below the asking price.
The next four hours of the drive are spent playing phone tag with the Real Estate agent and HR (HR is driving the Beast and I am driving my gorgeous little KIA). We finally negotiate a price and the contract is emailed to us.

We arrive at the day's destination and are hassled by the real Estate agent to get the contract signed and back to her.  Umm we have no printer/scanner they can wait till tomorrow when we get to the final destination. 'Oh well they're awfully keen' YES and I will get stuff done when I can get to the technology I need and a chance to read the bloody contract.

Friday another 6 hour drive punctuated with texts as to where we are at with the contracts!
Arrive at the final destination and call the agent and she informs us the buyer has said if we don't have the contracts to her/them by 0900 tomorrow he will rescind the offer.
GUESS WHAT SUNSHINE…GO A FUCKING HEAD!!!!
You KNEW from the start we were packing and moving and you've been told on several occasions we're driving so how about you exercise some patience!!!!!!!!

So now COB Friday has come and gone and I have the contract signed and witnessed and scanned in, attached to an email ready to send…Some one needs to make me hit send….cos I don't want too
Don't poke the bear people…..I hate being threatened!!!!!

Slowly Losing My Mind (it'll take as long as footy season…)

27 March 2016
For the last six months I (and many others) have been whinging and whining that the Footy season is over (see my Up There Cazaly Blog for more explanations about Aussie Rules).
We have suffered through the glorious long hot summer, we've watched Cricket (see my I Don't Like Cricket Blog), hated Tennis ( no one blogs about Tennis) and even got excited about the pre season challenge…some of us have even found an new job interstate and are in the process of moving.

Four days ago we watched as Carlton made a good game against Richmond, going down gallantly by nine points.
We watched in astonishment as Melbourne pipped the Giants by two points, ruining everyone's tipping. We watched the suns belt Essendon as expected, watched an engrossing game between North Melbourne and Adelaide (North won). We snickered madly waiting for Eddie shots as the filth (Collingwood) went down to the Swans (and prayed we don't cop as big a hiding tonight). The Bulldogs upset Fremantle and Port Adelaide finally triumphed over St Kilda.
Now its the Brisbane Lions versus West Coast Eagles and we are getting smashed…sigh.

I hate footy season.I hate being full of hope and confidence and then as the day gets closer I start to fret. I worry. I start making deals with God/the Universe. I think if I do this then the boys will win. It's agony.
I hate reading Twitter as the game unfolds. If I am not at the game I cannot watch us play live on the telly. I swear, a LOT, I shout and carry on, and the neighbours worry.
I 'watch' the game via the AFL site, watching the stats but not the play.
I hate seeing my boys getting their arses handed to them. I hate seeing the umpires favour the high flying teams. Some of the umpiring decisions tonight have been abysmal even allowing for my bias. As I am oft want to advise the umpires when I attend a match …CONSISTENCY, IT ISN'T JUST FOR PUDDING!!!!!!!!!
I am hoping Leppa can get the boys up and about after half time.
The Twitter is going off that even though we are thirty nine points down we are looking a better team than we did last year.There is hope. There is ALWAYS hope.
Last year the club slogan was ' Believe Belong'. I believe in my team.
This year is 'Your team. Represent'. I LOVE my team.
Even though I won't live in Queensland anymore, I will still be a loyal Lions fan, I will still sponsor my player, Josh Clayton (number 19) and I will still be a member of the Women Of The Pride!!!!!

One day we will revisit the pinnacle of success, the Grand Final, and we WILL WIN and raise that Premiership Cup high and sing the club song loud and proud:

We are the Pride of Brisbane Town
We wear maroon, blue and gold
We will always fight for victory
Like Fitzroy and Bears of old
All for one
and one for all
We will answer to the call
Go Lions, the Brisbane Lions
We'll kick the winning score
You'll hear the mighty roar!!!!!

Chapter Sixty-Three: The Song That Never Ends

It was too late. The train yard was a complete mess.

"My guess is that with the tank they managed to strike from a distance." Giggles flew over the wreckage. Down below, Sir Lionheart was talking with Sir Dark about Judith Jofrey.

"She's pretty furious." Sir Lionheart said, leaning against the remains of a blown-up train.

"Do you MIND?!" Sir Dark shooed him off, and went to inspect the wreckage. "You're damaging evidence!"

"The police have already been through already, what evidence is there left?" Sir Lionheart pointed out.

"You seriously think my co-workers did their job properly?" Sir Dark raised an eyebrow.

"Fair point."

"Anyway, why are you so wrapped up in Jofrey anyway?" Sir Dark continued to browse the area.

"I am not!" Sir Lionheart protested.

"Mate, the five of us have known each other since we were tiny. I think we might be able to tell when one of us is falling in love." Sir Dark raised an eyebrow at his best friend. "Remember how much crap you, Sam and Tammy gave Petunia and I until we finally got together?"

"Totally different!" Sir Lionheart snapped.

"Find anything yet?" Chuckles walked over as Giggles landed beside him.

"Plenty. I'm almost certain you're right about the tank being used, it was probably fired from Pleasant Ridge over there." Sir Dark pointed to the Ridge in the distance. "They're so much smarter than the DVM, Marion would have simply bulldozed the place with the tank, giving us a chance to stop her."

"Calculating is the word you're looking for Sir Dark." Giggles sighed. "Marion's smart enough, but she allows her selfish desire and emotions to get the better of her. Master Revolver should have thought twice about merging the Death Valley Gang."

"But look at all the power he has now." Chuckles pointed out. "And all he has to do is keep Marion happy."

The others all raised their eyebrows at him.

"Fair point." He agreed. "That woman is impossible."

"WHAT did you say about my sister?!"

"Sidewinder!" The four friends jumped a mile. Sir Lionheart gripped his replica Scythe tightly as Sidewinder twirled the original around in her fingers.

"I called her impossible. Which even you have to admit is true." Chuckles pointed out.

"She can be difficult, yes." Sidewinder shrugged.

"But you ARE Marions sister! I thought she had no siblings!" Giggles yelped.

Sidewinder groaned. She hadn't meant for anyone to find out about that!

"So what if I am? You guys had better get out of here before I hurt you all. Badly." Sidewinder pulled out the Mystic Eight Gun. "Scram."

"We have as much right to be here as you do!" Sir Dark protested.

Sir Lionheart knew he should back his fellow Knight, but he was entranced by the eyes of the Emerald Mobster. Something in those eyes stirred something in him.

"We're leaving Sir Dark." He finally said.

"You're…what?" Chuckles and Giggles looked dumbfounded at their friend.

"If we're going to take on an Emerald Mobster who has the power of the Mystic Eight Gun and the Dragon Scale Scythe on her side then I want the power of the whole Order behind me." Sir Lionheart tried to rationalise his position, sweat beading on his forehead.

"Oh you're not getting away that easily sugarpie." Sidewinder grinned. She leapt from the train she was standing on and landed in front of the leader of the Noble Knights of the Last Order.

"Draw." She held the Dragon Scale Scythe to his throat.

Thinking quickly, Sir Lionheart swung the blade of the replica at the hands of Sidewinder, very nearly removing them. The two blades clashed, before Sidewinder kicked at the unprotected shins of Sir Lionheart. He dropped to his knee, and it was only the intervention of the Lions Claw Blade that stopped his head from being removed.
Sidewinder smirked.

"His head is already in a bucket, all it needs is removing." She said, poking fun at the fact that Sir Lionheart had been wearing the same bucket on his head since Masked Revolver died.

Sir Lionheart groaned.

"Let's get out of here." He muttered to Chuckles. Chuckles looked up at Giggles, who sighed.

"Why do I always have to be the distraction?!" She whined.

"Just do it." Chuckles narrowed his eyes at her.
Giggles sighed again and started divebombing Sidewinder from the sky.

"Are. You. Serious?!" Sidewinder tried to swat Giggles away with the Dragon Scale Scythe.

"I'm not exactly thrilled about this either." Giggles deadpanned, firing a shot from the Desert Eagle at Sidewinders foot, narrowly missing her toes.

"FINE then, I'll GO!" Sidewinder stamped her feet, before stalking off in a huff.

"Definitely a relative of Marion." Chuckles grinned.

"We probably do need new outfits." Sunny agreed, looking at her old gas mask, a present from the late Joe Masters.

"I can get some stuff from work, no one will notice it's gone." TJ looked at his old hockey mask, which was being barely held together with tape. "This old thing has had it."

"I want to keep my mask though!" Petunia piped up.

"I LOVE your new hairdo by the way!" Tammy grinned at her friends new blue 'do. "I'm not so fussed on my outfit, but I would probably prefer to stay away from the fighting. I've already had one life-altering injury, I don't need another."

Sam put an arm around his twin sister. Her voice still croaked, no matter how strong it sounded now.

"Why are you so worried about what Sidewinder says anyway? I thought you were all about Judy Jofrey?" He grinned slyly at Daniel, who glared at him.

"Poor, confused Danny." TJ laughed, dodging a blow from the older man.

"I wonder what Sidewinder was at the train yard for?" Sunny mused. "Why would the Mob be worried about the trains for?"

"Who cares?" Sam shrugged. "The Mob are weird."

"It may have something to do with their influence over the Council." TJ pointed out. "Maybe Dannys little crush on Judy can help us."

"Are you serious?" Daniel glowered at his fellow Knights, who were all giggling. "How old are you guys?!"

"I cannot believe I'm going to do this." Daniel muttered the next day at work, pulling small logs off the conveyor belt. Sure enough, Judith was back, looking very harrassed and micro-managing anything she saw.

"You look a little stressed." He said to her as she walked past.

She looked at him for a second.

"You were at the Masters place. Daniel, wasn't it?" Judith asked.

"Yeah. What happened at the train yard? I heard it was destroyed." Daniel ventured.

"The Crusaders sniped it with the tank they got from the Mob." Judith growled. Daniel frowned.
"Bastards." He sighed. "That's going to affect us isn't it? Our wood comes in via train."

"We have a truck route too, so it shouldn't be too bad. I have contingencies." Judith smirked. Daniel laughed.

"Of course, you'd have to be smart to be a Councillor. Unlike layabouts like me." He did his best to flirt. It must have worked, because she chuckled.

"How about you have lunch with me? My break is at noon." Daniel ventured, his heart pounding in his chest. Judith was shocked. No one had ever dared ask her out to lunch before.

"Sure, I'd like that." She stammered, beginning to feel a nervousness she had never felt before.

"Okay…I guess I'd better get back to work I suppose…" Daniel tripped over his own words trying to keep his excitement under control. "See you at lunch time!"

"See you at lunch time!" Judith echoed, with a small smile.

Daniel grinned as he went back to work. Life was grand!

Flower Power

No one could ever call me a gardener. I kill more than I grow (except for kids…I didn't kill the kids) however, I digress…
Just because I am a woeful gardener doesn't stop me appreciating gardens.
One of the most beautiful gardens I have ever seen is the Botanical Gardens in Wellington, New Zealand. The most beautiful part of those gardens is Begonia House.
Begonias to me are the plants Mum grew in the little sun room at the back of the house (when I bought the house I pulled the sun room down and replaced it with a bloody big patio).

Mum's Begonias

Bloody big patio (house is for sale if you're interested)
 Anyway, a couple of years ago HR and I went to Wellington to watch the Brisbane Lions Play (and win) against StKilda. We made a holiday of sorts and stayed a few days. We  took the Cable Car up to the Botanical Gardens and walked down through acres of beautiful gardens.

The Cable Car, the picture doesn't quite do justice as to how steep the climb is.

The walk through the gardens is picturesque but as already mentioned I fell in love with the Begonias. The Begonias are grown in a huge hot house. It is like a jungle in there! But the way the whole green house is set out is amazing and the Begonias of all shapes and sizes are totally glorious to behold.

The Begonia House.

The images I am about to regale you with are all taken with my Samsung Tablet, and they are all Begonias.

I mean Mum's Begonias are lovely and all but……How magnificent are these blooms? How gorgeous is the setting?
No wonder I am hatching a cunning Begonia plan!!

HR is about to find out the hard way (reading my blog) that I want a small greenhouse when I move to where ever it is he is living. I want to grow Begonias, some like Mum's, but more like some of these pictures. I think I'm ready to become a gardener, but not just ANY gardener, a BEGONIA gardener. Yeah!!!!

Life Is What Happens To You While You're Busy Making Other Plans

John Lennon was so damned right!
I really do not like the things I have to do to get to where I want to be; on a cruise, sipping cocktails, on the Lido Deck (roll on August!!!)

Take work for instance…please just take it.. The Mausoleum is certainly not a fun place to work anymore. Organisational Restructure is the buzz word. Change Management is the result. BUT… no one bloody knows what the hell they are doing!!!!!
Let's set up THIS organisation they say, it'll be great. But they have no clue what the organisation should be doing, what positions will be required, and therefore no idea how many people they will need. Oh and just for fun? we'll make the organisation out of existing roles and people, and they'll have to relocate, and um yeah maybe after a year or so their position won't actually exist anymore so they won't have a job……but is a hell of a ride yeah???

Some of us have been a bit proactive and secured a position far far away, where HR works actually (cue massive reunion scene…or not, there'll be a funeral shortly…mebbe).

This presents its own set of problems; there's a house to sell, a removal to organise, securing a new abode (HR's mini pad is too small for two house fulls of furniture and a cat), oh and there's training someone to do my job (which may or may not exist in the future) which means writing work instructions ( I FECKING HATE WRITING WORK INSTRUCTIONS!!!!!). Then there's making sure The Mini Brat has a car that actually goes, wondering the best way to transport the aforementioned cat, keeping the house clean for prospective buyers to view (if there were any), working out how to live on fresh air while we pay a mortgage AND rent…where's my wine?????

Of course in the midst of all this frantic activity one then sits bolt upright and ask…am I doing the right thing??
Well guess what? It's a bit bloody late now to change your mind……

Chapter Sixty-Two: Threats and Intimidation

"Who gave you an Emerald Suit?" Mobster Marion glared at Sidewinder from across the large dinnertable.

"I took Marks old one that he left behind when he defected to the Crusaders." Sidewinder replied.

"Why are you doing this Sidewinder? Your task is to maintain the Mobs position on the Council and to be the legal name on all the Misneach assets! If anyone finds out that you're my sister and thus a part of the Mob, you'll lose everything and we'll be sorely under-represented on the Council board!" Mobster Marion scowled.

"Oh we will not, just about every Councillor on that board has been either paid off or scared into submission!" Sidewinder smirked, her long blonde hair flowing freely over her shoulder.

"Not all of them. That interferring idiot Peter Masters is getting into their ears, and HE'S got those pests Chuckles and Giggles on his side, along with the Last Order." Demon Jones pointed out.

"While we DO appreciate that you have the Dragon Scale and the Mystic Eight for us now, please keep your head down. Those assets and that title are your birthright, you need to protect them." Mobster Marion tried. She loved very, very few things in this world, and her sister was one of them.

"My birthright, that'll end up going to YOUR second child." Sidewinder sneered. "And if you think you're getting your hands on my new toys, you can just forget it!"

"SIDEWINDER!" Mobster Marion cried. Her sister got up and stormed off; she'd had enough of this for one day.

Two dark brown eyes gazed into the opposing aquamarine ones. Two highly unimpressed brown eyes.

"We're TRYING to play cricket here!" Belle scowled at Judith Jofrey, who had walked right through the middle of their game on her way to the Masters front door.

"Oh is that what you're doing? I assumed you were all drunk and behaving disorderly." Judith looked down her nose at the shorter woman.

"Well…" Belle had to admit the older woman with her short-cut brown hair had a point. Charlie currently had Daniel in a headlock, whilst being punched by Sam, who was about to be tackled by Petunia, who was being held back by TJ, who was having his ankle twisted by Tammy who was having her hair pulled by Sunny, whom Belle had dragged to the ground.

"It's a very involved sport." Daniel tried to explain, throwing Charlie off and straightening himself up. "I'm Daniel."

"Charming." Judith scowled. "Is Mr. Masters home?"

"Sure is. OZZIE!" Called Belle. Sure enough, seven-year-old Oscar Masters-Vargus came running out.

"You called?" He grinned at his older sister, guessing the joke.

"I meant Peter!" Judith yelled angrily. "I wouldn't be so jovial if I were you Miss Masters, I believe that you've been suspended AGAIN for causing a disturbance in the Court?"

"What about it?" Belles temper flared.

"Hey, no need to start attacking each other now, let's all just be friends huh?" Daniel tried to step in. Behind him, he could hear contained laughter and was pretty sure TJ was elbowing Sam in the ribs and pointing at his back.

Judith sneered.

"If you ever want to see the inside of a courtroom again Miss Masters, I suggest staying on my right side. Consider yourself warned." She stalked towards the front door, where Lara was about to step out to do some shopping.

"Is Peter Masters home?" Judith asked her.

"Sure, let me show you where he is." Lara said, praying that her husband had put a shirt on since she'd left him drinking with Thomas.

Once Judith had left, the laughter let loose.

"Someone's got a crush!" Petunia giggled uncontrollably.

"Next time I'll be nicer to your girlfriend Danny." Belle couldn't stay upright she was laughing so hard.

"Shut. Up." Daniel glared at the hysterical group. "Or shall we talk about how SOME people like to step on their own wicket?"

Laughter over.

"Peter." Judith looked down her nose at the two men who were happily drinking beer, lounging around the back yard.

"Councillor Jofrey!" Peter leapt to his feet and grabbed for his shirt as Thomas fell out of his hammock. "How can I help you today?"

"I'm here to discuss your continued employment with the Pleasantville Council." Judith continued, not at all impressed with what she was seeing. "And how your professional values and beliefs line up with those of the Council."

"What that's supposed to mean?" Peter finished pulling on his shirt and looked Judith in the eye.

"It means that you're stepping into business that does not concern you. You're a prosecutor, that's IT. You have no place making your little "recommendations" to the more gullible members of the Council." Judith glared back. "Remember your place, Masters, or you will lose your position and your job."

"Is that a threat Miss Jofrey?" Peter scowled.

"Why would I have any need for threats?" Judith smirked. "You know you lose the protection of the Mob if you're not employed by the Council – otherwise you'd be in huge trouble."

"If you think I'm worried about the Mob you have another thing coming." Peter growled.

"You think that your little friends Chuckles and Giggles will protect you and your family?" Judith scoffed.

"Actually, yes, we're 100% certain that Chuckles, Giggles and the Noble Knights of the Last Order are enough to take care of us." Thomas piped up.
Judith couldn't help but smirk.

"Tom, you have to admit that even though the Knights are able to hold their own, they're not exactly the most reliable." Peter pointed out. The gleam in his best friends eyes suddenly made his stomach drop. "Don't you dare-,"

"What seems to be the issue here?" Giggles landed between Peter and Judith, making the woman jump back and Peter facepalm. "This man is under the protection of Chuckles and Giggles, your threats from an impotent Council have no power here."

"I hate everyone." Peter declared, as he walked inside. "Especially YOU." He directed a glare at Thomas who was laughing.

"What the hell did I just walk into?!" Judiths eyes darted between the three figures.

"Issues. Lots and lots of unresolved issues. I don't suggest trying to understand it, too much brain-hurtiness for one day." Giggles shrugged as Thomas fell off his hammock again.

"By the way, would you like to stay for dinner?" Thomas picked himself up, looking sheepishly at the Councillor.

"NO!" Was the resounding reply from Judith, Peter and Giggles.

"I'd like to introduce you to our new boss, Miss Judith Jofrey!" Daniels supervisor announced a few days later at work. Daniel frowned but joined in the clapping.

Judith smiled icily at her new employees. "You probably won't see much of me around, as I have quite a few places to be, but I know that you'll all continue to work hard and make this the best business decision I've made yet!" Her eyes met Daniels and he felt his breath catch in his throat. She smirked and was about to continue, when her phone went off very loudly.

"What is it?" She growled impatiently. Her expression went from annoyed to furious when she heard whatever was being said on the end of the line. "THOSE BASTARDS BETTER LEAVE MY TRAINS ALONE!"

She turned back to the mill workers. "I'm sorry, but I have to tend to an emergency down at the train yards. Have the rest of the day off!" She waved them all off, leaving Daniel suspicious. He hung back as everyone else vacated the building, waiting until he was sure he was alone.

He pulled out his own phone. "TJ? Get the rest of the Knights and meet at the train yards. I think the March Hill Crusaders are making a move."

"Can confirm that. I've been left back at the station while the others go out to the scene. Do you think they brought the tank with them?" TJ asked, lounging back in his desk chair, surveying his empty office.

"Wouldn't surprise me." Daniel grabbed his replica Dragon Scale Scythe out from underneath a rusty old machine that wasn't used anymore.

It wasn't the most noble thing in the world, but Daniel was looking forward to being able to defend Judith Jofrey.

Chapter Sixty-One: The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight

"Not cool!" Chuckles unsheathed the Lions Claw Blade and pointed it at Sidewinder. "You could have seriously hurt Giggles!"

"I was aiming to kill. But I'll take what I can get." She pulled out the Mystic Eight Gun. Sir Lionheart gasped.

"HOW did you manage to steal THAT?!" He asked, picking up the fallen replica that he'd made.

Sidewinder didn't answer, instead firing three rounds at the group, who scattered. Giggles fired a round back, making Sidewinder laugh.

"Why do you bother firing that thing with no intent to kill or harm?" She asked, swinging the Dragons Scale Scythe at her and instead colliding with the replica scythe that Sir Lionheart was using.

"Maybe because she's a decent human being who recognises the basic rights of other human beings?" He fought back, swinging at Sidewinders midsection and narrowly missing.

"There ARE no rights in this world, only privileges, and you have to fight for those, including the privilege to survive." Sidewinder brought the Dragon Scale Scythe down onto Sir Lionhearts head, the move being narrowly blocked by the replica. The green glow of Emerald Power began to envelope Sidewinders hands and Sir Lionheart felt the two blades beginning to weigh down towards him despite his massive strength. The eyes of his opponent seemed to drill into his own, her long blonde hair touching his face, the blade of her scythe beginning to push into his shoulder.

"Sir Lionheart!" Sir Dark cried. The other Knights of the Last Order had rushed back to help their leader, all of them grabbing onto the replica scythe and pushing back and hard as they could, Lady Silent scrambling onto her brothers back to be tall enough to reach, and Lady Courage and Lady Luck standing on their toes.

Giggles flew up above them, pointing the Lucky Seven Gun at the real Dragon Scale Scythe while Chuckles pointed the Lions Claw Blade at Sidewinders back.

Seeing she was outnumbered for the time being, Sidewinder lurched and threw the Knights of the Last Order aside, all of them landing on each other. She rolled out of the way of the Lions Claw Blade and fired another shot from the Mystic Eight Gun at Giggles, scratching the heroes arm.

Sir Lionheart glared at her.

"We're leaving, the cops should be here soon." He said. "C'mon guys."

The Noble Knights of the Last Order left, Giggles flying backwards with the Lucky Seven Gun and her Desert Eagle trained on the Emerald Mobster until they were out of sight and the Backpack gave out again, leading to her landing on everyone and causing an argument.

"Bunch of cowards." Sidewinder smirked to herself. She holstered the Mystic Eight Gun, shouldered the Dragons Scale Scythe and headed back to the Council building.

"Why, why, WHY do things insist on getting worse for us?!" Belle groaned, sitting on an old chair with her helmet in her lap as Petunia tended to the scratch on her arm. They were back at the tip, and they were all confused.

"I have no idea where this Sidewinder came from!" Tammy pulled off her Lady Silent mask and went to her laptop. "She's definitely NOT a regular Emerald Mobster, that's for certain. She's just as skilled as Marion."

"Perhaps even more skilled than Marion, especially if she was able to steal the Dragon Scale and the Mystic Eight. No wonder Mark and Roger were angry, they've both been humiliated by the Mob." TJ pointed out. "Hey, Danny, you okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine. I'm just glad my replica held out. It's badly damaged though, unfortunately the timber mill doesn't have the best wood." Daniel looked at his weapon, the wooden handle badly chipped and in some places worn through completely.

"You tried, that's all that really matters." Sunny smiled. She checked her phone. "Uh, I gotta go, Melody has bitten another child at daycare again."

"Sounds like her mother." Pentunia said dryly, remembering when she had gone to daycare with Sunny and had been bitten. Sunny looked sheepish.

"Speaking of Marion, did you notice the blonde hair and aquamarine eyes that Sidewinder had?" Charlie said thoughtfully. "She's definitely a relation of Marions."

"Not possible. The last living relative of Marion was Mobster Marcus, her father, and he died the same day that Masked Revolver did." Belle began to lecture. "The Misneach family are interesting in that they only ever have one heir, in order to stop infighting over who owns what. The only time this went wrong was 150 years ago when they were first branching out into Ostraya."

"Why is this relevant to us?" Charlie asked.

"It's not really. It IS interesting to know though!" Belle replied.

"No, it's not, so shut up." Charlie deadpanned.

"Sidewinder? Never heard of her." Peter said back at the Masters residence as Petunia wrapped Charlies toe in gauze. "And I know a lot of the Mobsters, they're always prowling around the office."

"OWCH!" Charlie cried. "So you don't know any Mobsters with blonde hair and aqua eyes?"

"Nope, only Mobster Marion." Peter mused.

"OWW!" Charlie cried again.

"You really shouldn't antagonise Belle, then things like this wouldn't happen." Petunia pointed out.

"Worth it!" Charlie replied.

Daniel lifted another small log from the conveyor belt and threw it into the woodchipper. He winced – the small cut from the Dragons Scale Scythe still stung if he over-exerted himself, even though it had been a few days since he'd gotten it. Petunia had forced him to cover it with a dressing while he was at work, complaining that he shouldn't risk getting sawdust in it.

"Just take a day off work!" She scolded.

Not possible. The bosses were working them to the bone, trying to make the place look profitable to prospective buyers. Any days off would be heavily scrutinized, either losing Daniel his job or getting Sir Lionheart and the rest of the Knights of the Last Order discovered.

Of course, this meant risking damage to his "Lionheart" tattoo, but sacrifices had to be made.

He looked back at the conveyor belt, adjusting the larger logs to make sure they didn't jam while going through the saws and removing any small logs that were too small for building – they were used for paper manufacture.

"GOSH DARN IT!" He heard a cry from further back up the conveyor belt. That idiot Sawyer had dropped a log from the crane onto the feed outside, smashing the conveyor belt again.

"Why hasn't he been fired yet!?" Daniels direct supervisor groaned.

"His family are pretty close to the Misneachs." The guy manning the saws replied. "If he got fired this place would be destroyed."

"Swell." Daniel sighed. He looked towards the catwalk, and nearly fell over.

"What's Councillor Jofrey doing here?" He hissed to the man at the saws.

"I think she wants to buy the place. She's got a huge portfolio already." He replied, looking at her suspiciously.

"She's pretty young to have a portfolio that big." Another worker came over to join the conversation.

"She inherited most of it." Daniel pointed out.

"OI! Get your arses back to work you slackers!" They heard a loud yell from the catwalk.

Councillor Judith Jofrey had walked into the office, and the manager was now glaring furiously.

"C'mon, let's get back to work." The saw-manager groaned. Daniel looked up at the catwalk one last time.

She was pretty, with her short mousey brown hair and aquamarine eyes, her high cheek-bones, long eyelashes and slender body. She was also strangely familiar.

"Judith Jofrey is going to try and buy with timber mill?" Peter looked concerned.

"That's what Dan said. Why?" Charlie spooned another helping of Bills mushroom gravy onto his mothers roast beef.

"Because the only person who owns more of Pleasantville is Mayor Jones." Bill pointed out.

"And it looks like he might now have a rival."

"Are you saying…?" Belle perked up.

Thomas grinned.

"I think it's time we invited Judith Jofrey over for dinner." He said.

"NO!" Was the reply from Peter Masters, who looked horrified at the prospect. "Don't go inviting my evil boss over!"

Chapter Sixty: Tit for Tat

"I…just…no." Giggles looked gobsmacked.
"That's what I said." Crusader Mark agreed.
A massive tank being piloted by Mobster Marion was tearing the suburbs of Pleasantville apart.
"What set her off THIS time?" Chuckles asked.
"We beat her little boyfriend to the stash of diamonds that was being held at one of the banks." Crusader Roger grinned. "So she's furious she's not going to get her ring AGAIN."
"YOU ROBBED A BANK AND WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT?!" Chuckles and Giggles yelped.
"We're a bit more sophisticated than just using brute strength all the time. Besides, we can't afford it like the Mob can." Crusader Mark pointed out. "I'd love to know how they're constantly paying for all of this though."
"Although those diamonds did fetch a good price." Crusader Roger grinned at his co-conspirator.
"Quit with the back-slapping, we have to stop her from destroying the city!" Giggles took to the sky to try and stop the tank, and only succeeded in getting fired at.
"Heh. I think we should leave the HEROES to this." Crusader Roger clapped Crusader Mark on the shoulder.
"I agree. Have fun punks!" Crusader Mark smirked as he and Crusader Roger made themselves scarce.
"Darn them!" Chuckles groaned. He was disturbed by the fact that one of the banks had been robbed and no one seemed to know about it. The March Hill Crusaders definitely knew what they were doing, and it was scary.
Giggles had finally landed on the tank and was trying to remove Mobster Marion from the cockpit. It was difficult work though.
"IT'S MINE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!" Mobster Marion screamed.
"Play with it elsewhere!" Giggles snapped back, dodging another swing from the sword that Mobster Marion had with her.
"I'm coming Giggles!" Chuckles ran towards the tank, but was stopped by machine gun fire. "You're on your own mate!"
"Well thanks for nothing." Giggles rolled her eyes. Just then, she heard a familiar shuddering noise.
"Your Backpack?" Mobster Marion asked.
"Yup." Giggles sighed.
"Wow." Mobster Marion looked amused as Giggles landed on her bottom (again).
"Now. You die." Mobster Marion jumped from the tank and prepared to strike the finishing blow with her sword. Giggles groaned. The only way out of this was to kill the Mobster, but Giggles wasn't prepared to do that.
A loud clang assured her though that she was safe for now, and she looked up to see-,
"THE DRAGONS SCALE SCYTHE?" Giggles cried.
"No, it's not, it's just a replica I made. Pretty good though right?" Sir Lionheart grinned, forcing Mobster Marions sword back with his new blade. Giggles quickly scooted away, just as the replica went flying, leaving Sir Lionheart in a bit of a pickle.
"Now leave me alone, I was having fun before you lot showed up." Mobster Marion gave an injured sniff, leaning on her tank.
"Is this because you didn't get those diamonds?" Giggles raised an eyebrow.
"All I want is pretty things, is that so wrong?!" Mobster Marion sobbed loudly.
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Lady Luck came over and leaned on the side of the tank as well.
"NO! How could you even think that?! I'm no where near as fat as you!" Mobster Marion screeched.
It took Sir Dark, Lady Courage, Sir Hyper and Chuckles to hold Lady Luck back.
"So next week how about we go for the coal lines next? Could be some big money in stopping the trains from reaching Brisvegas." Crusader Mark said as he and Crusader Roger drove back to their hideout that was hidden in Pleasant Gorge, the wind running through their hair as the convertible sped along.
"It could work, but we'd be provoking the Last Order, not to mention the DVM would be on our case. I'm certain that Councillor Jofrey is on the Mobs payroll, and she owns the trains that run through the city." Crusader Mark pointed out. "There's so much junk on this road." He added offhandedly as they drove past what looked like some degraded old plywood boards and old baby carriage wheels discarded at the bottom of the cliff.
"I'm sure we can deal with the Order, and as for the Mob, if we cut off one of their biggest money-spinners then all the more better for us." Crusader Roger pointed out.
Both men jumped. A lone Emerald Mobster had landed on the bonnet of their car, forcing Crusader Mark to brake heavily.
"What do YOU want?" Crusader Roger pulled the Dragons Scale Scythe out of the back of the car.
The Emerald Mobster merely scowled under her mask. Her long blonde hair was loose and her eyes were aquamarine. Crusader Mark was tempted to guess that she was a relation of Mobster Marion.
But Mobster Marion didn't have any living relations left…
"Can you speak, wretch?" Crusader Roger held the Dragon Scale Scythe to the Emerald Mobsters throat. Suddenly her hand snapped out and grabbed the handle, leaning back as she yanked the weapon from its masters grasp. Enraged, Crusader Roger tried to pull the weapon back, and wore an Emerald Dagger to the shoulder for his trouble. He lost his grip on the weapon, and it was gone.
Meanwhile, Crusader Mark was trying to get the Mystic Eight Gun from its holster, which was caught in the seatbelt. The Emerald Mobster sliced the seatbelt in half, just as Crusader Mark got the gun loose. It dropped to the floor.
Crusader Mark reached for it, and almost had it when he felt a numbing pain around his neck – the Emerald Mobster had smacked the back of his head with the butt of the Dragon Scale Scythe, stunning him. She kicked his hand away and took the Mystic Eight Gun for herself.
"By the way," She turned back to them as she prepared to head back to the tank. "My name is Sidewinder."
She jumped from the bonnet of the car and disappeared.
"Turn this thing around and go and get her!" Crusader Roger felt the feeling return to his arm as Crusader Mark turned the car around.
"AND THEN HE SOLD MY PUPPY!" Mobster Marion wailed.
"That must have been awful." Lady Courage tried to sound sympathetic. The other Knights were lounging around waiting for the authorities to arrive, while Giggles was trying to tell Chuckles about some of the other weapons of lore.
"I am NOT interested." Chuckles tried.
"And then, he gave all the family assets away and said I couldn't have them!" Mobster Marion continued to sob. She was sat on the edge of the tank, feeling sorry for herself.
"How did you ever manage?" Sir Hyper commented dryly.
That was enough to set the Mobster off again. She ran screaming at Sir Hyper, swinging her sword fiercly and accurately. He managed to dodge the first blow, but had to be saved by Lady Courage for the second.
"I do like that baseball bat. Even if a cricket bat would be more culturally appropriate." Chuckles grinned.
"HELP!" Lady Courage struggled, Mobster Marions sword beginning to dent the baseball bat.
Giggles aimed the Lucky Seven Gun at the sword and fired, shattering the sword and sending Mobster Marion into a fresh fury.
"WHY DO YOU DESTROY EVERYTHING I HAVE?!" She cried. She made to rush back to the tank, but it was already rolling away.
"I am CERTAIN I put on the handbrake!" Mobster Marion looked confused.
"You did. We're just stealing it. Consider it payment for your Sidewinder taking the Dragons Scale and the Mystic Eight!" Crusader Mark poked his head out of the top of the tank, grinning.
"ARGH!!!!" Screamed Mobster Marion, throwing the now broken sword at her rival. It hit the tank with a loud clang, as it headed away from the city and back towards Pleasant Cliffs. She sighed, then grimaced.
"I'm going to kill her. I am going to slaughter her." Mobster Marion stalked away. "Stupid SIDEWINDER!"
The Noble Knights of the Last Order looked confused as they watched her retreating back. Giggles blinked, and turned to Chuckles.
"Who's Sidewinder?" She asked.
"That would be me."
Giggles barely had a split second to dodge as the Dragons Scale Scythe scratched her helmet, as the Emerald Mobster known as Sidewinder landed between them.

Professional my hairy, fat, cellulite ridden, A*se

I'm a nice person
I don't bag people out.
I accept that certain things are just the way they are and naff all I can do about it. BUT…..
When a company uses the word PROFESSIONAL in their name you expect them to behave professionally right?
Picture it… the family home empty, all the little mong, er, children have flown the coop, HR is transferred interstate, and I don't need this much space.
Let's sell up we say
So we put the house on the market. Agents say the market is slow. I get a second agent on board from the so called PROFESSIONAL team. The agent does the best they can and all goes on as  you'd expect until four weeks ago.
Four weeks ago HR gets a call from these so called professional types. Your agent no longer works for us, pay this bill and then you're off the books. Just like that. We don't want houses in your suburb anymore we were told.
I sent the agent a text asking what was going on…no response whatsoever.
Two weeks later I get the bill. No Cover letter apologising for what has happened, just a final bill.
Right then, I send an email telling them to get our house of all their advertising, the bill will be paid such a date and by the way you have a set of keys please return them.
A week later they send the keys, in a normal envelope, unsecured, no registered mail, through the post, delivered into the mail box for anyone to take and use to open the House and rob us!!!!!
Again no cover letter not even a single attempt to disguise the keys.

Obviously customer relations are not a high in priority at this real estate company.
I certainly will NOT recommend them to anyone EVER!

love me love my dog…or cat or….

Once upon a time there was a family of three kids and two adults (at least one of us was an adult not sure about HR). We had a cat and a dog and all was well with the world.
Morgan, the Beagle, was a great friend to The Normal Autistic Girl (even though he was really supposed to be the Mini Brat's dog) and Footsie (the abandoned cat from next door) ruled everyone and everywhere as befitting the Empress of Fluff.

Then one day the Normal Autistic Girl decided birds are what we need and promptly brought home Finches and Budgies. Of course Footsie, The Empress of Fluff, thought all her Christmases had come at once. Guess who got to clean the cages and feed the little feathered monsters?

The Normal Autistic Girl got a boy friend and they built a house and she took her birds thank goodness.

Then I turned the big five-oh. Let's do something special we thought (Harry Potter World had just opened at Universal Studios in Orlando) so off to the States we went. We took the Mini Brat with as she was still a little young to be left at home alone. Can that child spend money or what????
Just before we left for the States The Normal Autistic Girl and her by then fiancee decided to rescue cat brother and sister who were unwanted but their owners would not be responsible and spay the parent cats. Such irresponsible behaviour. I'd say that the adoption of the sibling kittehs had some bearing on what happened next….

Whilst we were away The Boy Child was looking after the house. He was in a relationship, they decided to 'have kids'…a cat (Lillith, who the F**K names a cat Lillith?)…several months later The Boy Child got 'divorced' and as always it's the children that suffer (or the in laws in this case) and Lillith became Skitteh.
At this stage the Empress of Fluff is around about ten years old and has been an only cat for all that time. Suddenly there's this little ball of attitude in her space. It took awhile but they finally learnt to live together and there is the odd photo of them actually sharing space.

Several years pass, The Mini Brat gets a boyfriend (who lives mostly with us for a few years) and he in his infinite wisdom decides that The Mini Brat needs a dog (remember we have two cats and a dog already) and thus Skipper comes into the house. (and YES I am the silly cow who feeds, walks, trains, looks after the bloody dog). Ultimately The Mini Brat and the boyfriend parted ways and then she moved out. This year Skipper was successfully rehomed. If I didn't work and had the time to spend with her, I would have kept her, but I didn't ask for the dog. Sounds harsh I know, but when I finally get a dog for me I want to have the time and space to treat that dog the way it deserves with love and affection, not just dump it in the back yard to be fed and patted when I can find the time.

Time passes and so do our furry friends. Morgan crossed the Rainbow Bridge 2014 and The Empress of Fluff was only a few months behind. It was such a sad loss. I have a great appreciation for Pets Rest In Peace, the company that took our beloved fur friends and cremated them, returning them to us with a beautifully presented Urn and remembrance pack.
Skitteh has blossomed without her bossy companion but I know she misses her.
Now Skitteh is an only pet. For most of her life Skitteh has been a purely indoor cat (Footsie, Empress of Fluff, played chicken with the cars one too many times and after many years as an outdoor cat she also became an indoor kitteh). In the last few months I have let Skitteh out the back while I hang laundry and the like. Several weeks ago I went to get her in before I went off to get my nails done and there is Ms Skitteh out the front, having jumped the fence, about ready to cross the road!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say she is back to being a purely indoor cat again! However, Ms Skitteh does not appreciate my concern for her well being. Ms Skitteh sets up an unholy caterwauling when she thinks she should be outside, which is like all day every day!!!!
Ah well I'm happy to be a Crazy Cat Lady for now…….

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