Baby you can drive my car

Cars have naff all to do with food I hear you say, and you're quite right but…cars are a necessary evil in getting one to and from restaurants and grocery stores hence this post.

Once upon a time I owned a gorgeously cheeky little Kia Cerato Koup, I loved that car and we had many good times together.

Then HR (the husband, remember?) decided he wanted to exchange his crappy piece of Euro Trash Mondeo for a Mazda BT 50 (The BT). My little Kia was sacrificed on the altar of his masculine stupidity (I'll stop sobbing momentarily) and I inherited my first piece of Euro Trash.

 Next thing is The Boy Child is living 50 mins away from work and his piece of shit Holden Commodore (hereafter referred to as The Crummy) was costing him a fortune in fuel, maybe he could use the Mondeo (diesel is cheaper and more economical apparently) and I could use The Crummy. Well the big problem there is that I will NEVER willingly drive a Holden.

So we have a conundrum! BUT the Normal Autistic Girl lives in Brisvegas and uses public transport so her car (Tenny the Veloster) is in an advanced state of disuse, perhaps Mother could use that? Well yes but it is unregistered and some bastard has side swiped it and driven off so……..

Anyway, long story short, Tenny got registered and repaired and came to live with me for ten months.
Keeping up are we?
So, the Normal Autistic Girl suddenly needs her car back!! More than a conundrum here, we have a fricken DILEMMA!! What will Mother drive? How will she get from here to there and to her many food sources?
Check the classified boards at work!! Genius right? Mebbe.

There's a car for sale (more Euro Trash). An Audi, going cheap, but in good condition. Hmm I think to myself let's be looking at this then. Long story short, again, I bought said Audi, bargain yeah? Mebbe.

The Audi passed a roadworthy and has new tyres and is generally ready to rock (The Mini Brat Lurvs the Audi and wants it when I get my new Kia). Let's take Tenny back to Brisvegas!

I drive the Audi, the Mini Brat drives Tenny ( a story in itself but not right now). It's raining all the way there. We meet the Normal Autistic Girl at Macca's near the Gabba, give her her car and the Mini Brat and I start the drive back (forgetting to get my house keys off Tenny's keyring…we had to climb in a window when we got home).

Merrily driving along and fielding abuse from the Mini Brat, seems my attempt to be considerate by not speeding along on the way TO Brisvegas annoyed her (she was following me), we lost a little traction on a wet, rough bit of road near Buranda shopping centre. No Biggy, corrected and motored on. Except that suddenly I have no oomph in the accelerator, and if I try to speed up the car bucks like a Bronco!!! What the hell, have I bought a lemon????? Will I get back up the Range? will we get home in time for the Mini Brat to get her nails done?? Sounds like some kind of melodrama right?

I was right to be concerned about the Range. Oh dear. It was embarassing and humiliating and I found out JUST how much the MiniBrat is like her Father (HR). She huffed, she puffed she was downright fricken annoying whilst I tried to baby this piece of EuroTrash up the hill!!
Four times it stalled going up the hill and just because we were at the top didn't seem to make a difference. We must have stalled through at least three sets of lights ( yeah thanks to the dickheads who tooted in annoyance even though we had hazzard lights flashing and all cos like we weren't embarassed enough you know?). We finally made it home. My nerves were shot, the Mini Brat made her appointment so, you know, everything worked out yeah.
I rang HR. HR rang the Audi dealers. The Audi dealers inform HR of something called 'Limp Mode'.
Apparently the Audi has all these sensors everywhere and if somethng is off the car will go into the 'Limp Mode' to protect the car. You have enough power to get the vehicle to a garage apparently.

WHY WASN'T I TOLD????????????

SO, I will get the Audi to the mechanic on Monday and then hopefully I can get back to driving to wherever it is I need to drive………In PEACE!!!!!

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