Chapter Fifty-Two: The Art Of Self-Love
"What is it THIS time?" Chuckles grumbled as he and Giggles made their way to the Pleasantville Entertainment Centre.
"She didn't like the direction the play was taking." Master Revolver told them, looking harrassed.
"She's getting out of control!" Giggles facepalmed. "Just about anything sets her off nowadays!"
"She's not the only one." Sir Lionheart muttered under his breath.
"Hey Tuney! Sunny, Lizzy, Tammy and I are going for a walk to the dam with Maddy and Lara, do you want to come with us?" Belle asked a few days earlier, thinking some good quality girl time would help get Petunia out of the funk she was in.
Instead, Petunia looked at her coldly.
"I'm fine, thank you." Was the reply as she sat down at Bills resturant eating chips.
"Tuney, sitting around eating isn't going to help anyone." Belle tried.
Of course, she inadvertantly put her foot in it.
"I'll manage my life as I see fit, and I'll thank you not to judge!" Petunia snapped angrily. "Leave me alone!"
"Petunia!" Belle gasped.
"Leave. Me. Alone!"
"Anyway Lady Luck, we were thinking it'd be worth you getting in on our combat training." Sir Lionheart said as the Knights of the Last Order (and Lizzy) assembled for their "training" the next day.
"Why? Isn't my job to make sure you're all healthy?" Lady Luck frowned.
"Well, yes, but-," Sir Lionheart began.
"So why should I bother learning "combat" for?" Lady Luck narrowed her eyes at him.
Sir Lionheart turned to look at Sir Dark, who looked confused.
"We all thought that you'd benefit from knowing how to fight." Sir Dark tried.
"What are you trying to say to me?" Lady Luck stood up.
"Lady Luck, we're just trying to help." Lady Silent pleaded.
"Well I don't need help, thank you." Lady Luck turned on her heel and left.
"Tuney wait!" Sir Dark bolted after her as the others looked at each other, upset and confused.
"It must just be that time of month." Master Revolver shrugged, earning him a slap upside the head from Giggles. "I rest my case!"
"Can you NOT antagonise my partner when we're trying to stop Marion from destroying the entire city one temper tantrum at a time?!" Chuckles glared at Master Revolver, who scowled back.
"Where's the rest of your Knight friends? I thought they'd all be here rallied around Lionheart the instant I looked at him." Master Revolver grumbled.
"We've been having some issues. Look, here's Lady Courage, Lady Silent and Sir Hyper now!" Sir Lionheart breathed a sigh of relief as three of his Noble Knights of the Last Order appeared.
"Sir Hedgehog is on his way, but I have no idea about Sir Dark and Lady Luck." Lady Courage informed her leader.
"Fair enough." Sir Lionheart frowned.
"So how many innocent people has she got in there hmm?" Giggles turned to Master Revolver, who flinched.
"You act like this is MY fault!" He winced.
"Well, you're the idiot who brought an emotionally-unstable psychopath with a severe entitlement complex to the theatre." Giggles pointed out.
"There's at least 100 people in there, I managed to escape with a few others." Master Revolver sighed, defeated. "You're not going to be able to stop her though, she's completely off her rocker at the moment."
"Alright, I'm going in there to stop her!" Chuckles announced. Giggles facepalmed again.
"She's armed to the teeth, probably with explosives and Emerald warriors, not to mention CHUCKLES I SWEAR I AM GOING TO HURT YOU IF YOU KEEP RUNNING OFF MID-SENTENCE ON ME!" Giggles roared with fury as she rushed in after her best friend.
The pair burst into the lobby, weapons drawn, ready to subdue the irate Mobster. It was too quiet though.
"This is up there with one of your very WORST ideas." Giggles grumbled as Chuckles headed towards the main theatre. Sure enough, ambush. I think we all saw it coming a mile off.
"I suggest the pair of you just STOP right there. I don't know what prompted you to come rushing in here, but I can tell you right now you're outnumbered, outgunned and outdone." Mobster Marion stepped towards them, flanked by Emerald Mobsters.
"Who takes minions to a play?" Chuckles questioned, eyeing the Emerald Mobsters.
"Yeah, one would think you'd want a little privacy on your date." Giggles pointed out.
"What, and you two don't take those Knights with you everywhere you go?" Mobster Marion scowled.
"We don't go on dates." Chuckles and Giggles replied simultaniously.
"We don't!" Giggles frowned.
"We've never been on one single date together, ever!" Chuckles protested.
"It's true!" Giggles yelped. "Besides, Chuckles was more interested in Lady Courage than me."
"I forgot about that, how does it feel to know your partner liked a secondary character over you?" Mobster Marion grinned triumphantly.
"Better than getting stuck with that loser Revolver. When are you two getting married anyway?" Chuckles stepped in to defend Giggles.
The mention of marriage seemed to set off a firecracker in the head of Mobster Marion, who immediately flew into a rage and started swinging her sword at Chuckles.
"Oh dear." Giggles scratched her head as Mobster Marion screamed like a furious banshee.
"'Oh dear' is right, she's been itching for a ring for a while." One of the Emerald Mobsters said, looking bemused at the scene in front of him.
"You should see some of the hints she's been putting out. It's getting quite sad really." Another Emerald Mobster piped up.
"Wow. Just wow." Giggles said, her voice laced with pity as Mobster Marion made life hell for Chuckles.
"GIGGLES WILL YOU HELP ME HERE?!" Chuckles roared, barely holding his own against the onslaught.
"I'm not a swordmaster though." Giggles pointed out.
"And lower myself to the standard of that moron she's dating?"
Outside, the Noble Knights of the Last Order were milling around when Lady Luck and Sir Dark finally showed up.
"You two okay?" Sir Lionheart asked kindly.
"Fine." Lady Luck bit.
"Chuckles and Giggles rushed in there. So far nothing." Lady Silent looked at the doors of the theatre. Just then, an Emerald Mobster walked out, sighing.
"Get in there. It's getting ugly." He said to the Knights, before turning to Master Revolver. "I'm not working for that psycho bitch any longer, I quit."
He stripped off his Emerald Suit, leaving him in only his boxers, before stalking off with as much dignity as his fashion would allow him.
Master Revolver looked at the Emerald Suit at his feet.
"Well." He frowned.
"Come on guys, let's go." Sir Lionheart motioned for his Noble Knights to follow him into the theatre.
They found Giggles checking her fingernails as Chuckles desperately tried to protect himself from Mobster Marion.
"Wow." Sir Hedgehog gaped at the scene in front of him.
"Yeah. All over an engagement ring that Revolver is too thick to give her." Giggles checked the Desert Eagle. "Dad really needs to polish this."
"I actually think it's smart of Revolvers part." Sir Hyper said.
Mobster Marion stopped attacking Chuckles, eye twitching. Suddenly she rushed at Sir Hyper, who yelped and ran screaming from the psycho Mobster.
"Just…I got nothing." Lady Courage threw up her hands.
"I think I can understand." Lady Luck sighed. "You just want someone to recognise that you need love, don't you Marion?"
The Mobster stopped chasing Sir Hyper and glared at Lady Luck.
"Everyone always has a go at me about my weight. The man of your dreams doesn't get the hint that you want to be with him forever. It sucks being female, doesn't it?" Lady Luck approached Mobster Marion, whose bottom lip was starting to tremble.
"I know." Mobster Marion dropped her sword.
"I still got nothing." Lady Courage groaned as the two women in front of her started hugging and crying together.
"At least nothing's going to get blown up." Sir Lionheart pointed out.
"I'm going to go and do my rounds." Petunia sighed as the nurses at work started talking about diet plans and dress sizes. Another day, another round of hearing about weight and body shapes and ugh!
"Oh, Petunia? Can you cover my rounds again please?" One of the other nurses asked. "I'll take yours if you like."
"Sure." Petunia sighed. She headed out to the ward, ready to clean up messes and fix up bandages.
"HEY! It's Nurse Petunia!" She heard a young voice cry, followed by several cheers. She grinned. Her wards for the afternoon were the children who were currently in hospital – and THEY certainly didn't care about how fat she was!